Don’t Eat Me, I’m Not Kosher! (and Other Funny Things Your Charges Really Say)

by kasandra polowski

Photo courtesy Emanoel Gugu via public domain

As nannies we are around our charges most of the day so we get the pleasure of hearing all the funny things that come out of their mouths. Now try not to laugh out loud during nap-time!

Jack and the Beanstalk

“The four-year-old and I were playing Jack and the Beanstalk and I was the giant. When the boy came close to me I'd say, ‘Who disturbs my slumber?’ When the boy asked to be the giant, I snuck up on him and he yelled, ‘Who deserves my lumber?’ It was cute!” -Rie in Michigan

Like Mommy’s?

“The other day I was sitting at the breakfast table with Big Brother and Baby Brother. Big Brother is sitting in his underwear and he looks and he points to his nipples and says to me, ‘Do you have these?’ and I said, “Yes, I sure do.’ And he says, ‘Oh, are they big like Mommy’s?’ I said ‘I don't think so.’ Then he said, ‘Oh, because they have to grow more?’” -Ally in California

Babies and Pickles

“One of my charges was explaining to me that she wanted her mother to have a baby and she knew how to make that happen. I reluctantly asked her how and she stated she would ‘trick Mom into eating pickles and ice cream!’ I couldn't help but laugh!” -Amber in Pennsylvania

Surprisingly Kosher

“I was teasing a three-year-old girl I was watching with ‘I gotcha where I want you and now I’m gonna...’ when she screamed, ‘Don't eat me! I'm not kosher!’" -Kathryn in Washington

Passing Gas

“A five-year-old boy was sitting on couch and passed gas. He yelled to his brother, ‘My butt just burped!’“ -Lora in Ohio

Hot Gym

“I am going through menopause and I guess I haven't been discreet when I have a hot flash. One of my seven-year-old triplets told the gym teacher that she was having a hot flash after a rigorous game of kickball The gym teacher told me he laughed all day about that one.” -Denise in New Jersey

do you have something funny that your charge really said? send it to submissions@nannymag.com along with your name and state for the chance to have it published in the next edition!