Part Two: Embarrassing (But Hilarious) Nanny Confessions
by chelle wilson.
Nanny Gone Wild
"I was working with a family with a three-month-old boy and an 18-month-old boy. The three-month-old spit up all over me before naptime, so I put the boys down for a nap and put my shirt in the wash. While it was in the wash, I went about doing my own thing but kind of stayed away from the windows as I did stuff around the house. I was later mortified to find out they have a nanny cam and MomBoss saw me walking around the house in just my bra. She and I were both thankful that DadBoss was in Iraq and wasn’t able to view. From then on, I always kept a change of clothes with me!” -Brenda in Colorado
“When my charges were a waddler and a toddler, they were both dealing with catching a bunch of viruses over and over. We needed a thermometer to track their temperatures, so I took them with me to the store. I grabbed a thermometer off the shelf and tossed it in the cart. Immediately, the older boy grabbed it and thrust it into the air like Arthur pulling the sword from the stone and declared "This is for butts! This is for butts! This. Is. For. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutts!" He refused to stop! I was mortified! I tried to hurry to the cash register as he continued to yell "This is for butts!" all throughout the store. About halfway to the register, the younger boy decided he was hungry, and I needed to feed him, like immediately. He was still breastfeeding with his mother. He grabbed my top and pulled it completely down, exposing me to the entire store, and then he started to scream, "Milk! Milk now! Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilk nooooooooooooooow!" I hurriedly grabbed my top and pulled it back up and decided that I would use the self check-out to avoid having to make eye contact with a cashier after involuntarily flashing the store and driving a cartful of boys screaming about milk and butt thermometers.” -Jennie in Washington
The Curious Case of the Changing Table
“My two-year-old charge and I were at a children’s museum. He got soaked during our visit so I took him to the bathroom to change him. The changing table at the museum is literally a giant table so multiple kids can be changed at once. While changing him, he noticed a tiny baby getting his diaper changed. He looks over and said very loudly, "Hi sweet little baby! Oh my, Emma, look! His peepee is so silly! Oh wow, look at that peepee, Emma!" I quickly laid him back down and tried to get out of there as fast as possible but he just wouldn't let it go. I thought he was referring to the cloth diaper the baby had so I said, "It’s not silly. Some babies use different diapers but that’s okay." He grabbed himself and pointed again and said, super loud, "Hi little baby! My peepee is not silly. Your peepee is weird!" I was mortified. I couldn't help but notice that the baby he was talking about was not circumcised like my charge was. He just found the difference fascinating.” -Emma in Illinois
“One of my boys pooped in his pull up and went to take it off when the poop fell out onto the floor. The family dog ran in and ate the poop. It was awful! While the older boy finished in the bathroom, the younger boy watched me chase the dog around the house trying to get it to go outside. I just did not want the dog to lick me or anything. Definitely the only time I have been stressed from my job in a long time.” -Chelsea in West Virginia
"I Want To Be Just Like Mommy!"
“While changing my-two-year-old charge’s diaper, she looked at me very seriously and said, “Mommy had blood in her diaper!” She was referring to menstruation. I replied, “Don’t worry, Mommy isn’t hurt. You’ll understand more when you’re older.” She ended the conversation with “I wanna be older now, I want blood in my diaper. Do you have blood in your diaper yet?” All I could do at this point was laugh.” -Briana in Texas
GOT A FUNNY TALE OF YOUR OWN?
If you have a horrendously embarrassing nanny moment you’d like to share for possible consideration, please send an email with your funny story, first name, and state to Chelle Cochran at firstname.lastname@example.org.