Nannies Don’t DO Saturdays!

You want me to babysit WHEN!? by erica christopher

Tick, tock. Tick, tock. It’s 4:30 p.m. on a Friday and it’s been one doosy of a week. One. More. Hour. You’ve spent 39 hours playing, singing, dancing, wiping, pacifying, coloring, diaper changing, and feeding. As fun as all of that clearly is, you’re done. You’re ready for the weekend.

Creeeeek. The front door opens. Could it be? Could the parents be home, gulp, early? Your heart races with anticipation, even an extra 20 minutes would feel like a tropical vacation after the four year old has decided to quit naps cold turkey (no one asked you!).

You try to ignore it and continue playing. “Okay! Whose turn is it in Candy Land?! I hope you don’t land on Lord Licorice!” you say, but your mind isn’t really in the game.

“Hey guys! I’m home!” she declares as if you haven’t heard every breath and footstep approaching. Hurry up already, MomBoss; Nanny needs a glass of wine and her pillow!

“Hi! How was your day? Everything has been great around here!” you say cheerfully. Your enthusiasm may be a bit overdone, or a lot overdone, but you can’t let her see your weakness.

And then there’s a long pause and you just know that something’s up. Uh oh. Either she has simply shared your experience of a rough week or she is going to ask you something.

“So… I was thinking I would really like to shower quickly before dinner. I’ll be down before it’s time for you to go,” she says.

Okay. So now you know you’re not getting off early. That’s fine, you think. At least MomBoss wasn’t asking for more than the 75% effort and the 49 minutes you’ve got left on the clock.

The next 45 and a half minutes drag on like they used to during last period in high school. But you manage all right. Candy Land winds down and the kiddos are seemingly just as pooped as you are. It’s almost quitting time for all!

But then you hear her voice once again. “So, um…” MomBoss is nonchalantly starting to talk to you as she walks down the stairs.

“So, yeah. Um, Hubby and I were hoping to go to this charity event tomorrow night and our evening babysitter just canceled. She’s really sick.”

You think to yourself, oh no, she’s going to ask you to babysit tomorrow night. On a Saturday! A Saturday! Nannies don’t do Saturdays! Shoot! You run through your list of excuses in your mind, but can’t think of any obligations that sound realistic enough for her to buy. That babysitter already took the “sick” excuse! And you can’t come up with an alibi!

Here it comes. “I hate to do this to you after a long week, but is there any way you would be available to watch the kids for a bit?”

Now it’s your turn for the long pause.

You know you had better answer quickly or she will know you are making something up. Think, nanny, think!

Then, inexplicably, you blurt out your response. “Sure! No problem! I would love to watch the kiddos tomorrow night!” with more oomph than you ever imagined you possessed.

Huh? What the heck did you just say? No you don’t! You do not have any desire to watch the kids on your Saturday! Take it back! Cleverly remember your own charity event (you go to those, right?). Quick!

But it’s too late, you over-achieving, goody-goody people pleaser!

“Great! Let’s say 5:00? I really appreciate it!”

MomBoss knows she dodged a bullet, and she really does feel bad for asking you to give up your free time. You just hope she also knows that she used her once-a-year Saturday favor. Just kidding, you won’t be able to say no next time either. Don’t fool yourself.

You sigh wearily and look at the clock, defeated; it’s 5:24 pm. At least there are only six more minutes until you get the next 24 hours off! You can surely handle six more minutes, right? Just make it two glasses of wine when you get home. You deserve it.

But MomBoss interrupts your thoughts once again. “Oops! Silly me, I forgot to go to the post office. Do you mind staying just 15 more minutes?”

You think to yourself, you’ve got to be kidding me! Yes, I do mind, actually. Thanks for asking, but…

But instead you say, “Of course! Take your time!” with a huge cheek-hurting smile.

Silly nanny. You’ve done it again.